Driving in Cali - Wednesday, May 31, 2006
On June 1st, I'll have been a resident of California for exactly 2 years. It took me a little over a year and a half to register my car (shhhh...don't tell the DMV) and it took me till yesterday to get a california drivers license. Yep, as of yesterday, I'm official. I went to the DMV, signed all the paperwork, got my thumbprint and picture taken and then went into take the dreaded Driver's Test.
I'll admit, I was a little scared of this test. The last time I took it I was a teenager and that was a looooooooooooooooooooooong time ago. But it had to be done so I sat down to take it. If you haven't taken it yet the test consists of 36 multiple choice questions with three answers each. And it's all about the rules of driving.
Anyway, the end result was that I passed. I got two questions wrong when you're allowed to get three wrong. And really that should be the end of that...BUT I feel I was cheated on one of the questions. I say my answer should be right but the DMV doesn't agree with me. So that's why I'm telling you. And I'd like some opinions from my faithful readers please. Leave a comment after you read my problem.
Here it is:
The Question reads...Which way should your front wheels be turned when parked uphill next to a curb?
Parallel to the curb
Away from the curb
Toward the curb
Now, logic, at least my logic, says that the wheels should be turned TOWARD the curb. Because if the brakes fail the car will roll back a bit but the rear wheel will hit the curb and stop.
My diagram below demonstrates what will happen with the wheels turned TOWARD the curb.
The DMV and California say the the front wheels should be turned AWAY from the curb. My mind tells me that if the wheels are turned away from the curb and the brakes fail then the car will roll back into the road blocking traffic and causing much havoc.
The diagram below shows what happens if the wheels are turned AWAY from the curb.
And that's my take on it and I think I'm right. Wheels toward curb car OK. Wheels away from curb car not ok.
If anyone can explain this to me the way the DMV believes then feel free. Make me understand.
I'll admit, I was a little scared of this test. The last time I took it I was a teenager and that was a looooooooooooooooooooooong time ago. But it had to be done so I sat down to take it. If you haven't taken it yet the test consists of 36 multiple choice questions with three answers each. And it's all about the rules of driving.
Anyway, the end result was that I passed. I got two questions wrong when you're allowed to get three wrong. And really that should be the end of that...BUT I feel I was cheated on one of the questions. I say my answer should be right but the DMV doesn't agree with me. So that's why I'm telling you. And I'd like some opinions from my faithful readers please. Leave a comment after you read my problem.
Here it is:
The Question reads...Which way should your front wheels be turned when parked uphill next to a curb?
Parallel to the curb
Away from the curb
Toward the curb
Now, logic, at least my logic, says that the wheels should be turned TOWARD the curb. Because if the brakes fail the car will roll back a bit but the rear wheel will hit the curb and stop.
My diagram below demonstrates what will happen with the wheels turned TOWARD the curb.
The DMV and California say the the front wheels should be turned AWAY from the curb. My mind tells me that if the wheels are turned away from the curb and the brakes fail then the car will roll back into the road blocking traffic and causing much havoc.
The diagram below shows what happens if the wheels are turned AWAY from the curb.
And that's my take on it and I think I'm right. Wheels toward curb car OK. Wheels away from curb car not ok.
If anyone can explain this to me the way the DMV believes then feel free. Make me understand.
Memorial Day - Monday, May 29, 2006
Hello gang,
Well, today being Memorial Day I decided to do a Memorial Day post in memoriam of some things that I feel need to be remembered.
My hair.
It's hard to believe, I know, but at one point in my life I had thick, flowing, luxurious hair...LOTS AND LOTS OF HAIR! Where did it all go? Down the drain, mostly. Little by little it abandon my head for the call of the shower drain. Why? I don't know. But that's that. I miss it. And will always remember it fondly.
Socks.
More specificly the socks that get lost in the vast etherial void of the dryer. I discussed this in a post last year about the strange aliens I found in the dryer that steal socks. But I thought it was important to mention them and their sad mates that are left here on the earthly plain without their counterparts. I have many socks that are mateless and I see them sitting in my drawer all alone. I feel bad for them. I also feel bad for the others who are alone in the dryer world. I feel they, and all others like them, should be remembered this day.
Wisdom Teeth.
Not everyone has to have their wisdom teeth taken out (they are the ones who haven't quite evolved enough. They still have Cro-Magnon mouths.) I had all four of mine taken out many, many years ago. Three of them were impacted and sideways. They had to cut into my jaw, chop the teeth up into little pieces then pull the pieces out one by one. It wasn't fun...but the drugs they gave me were! Woohoo! Anyway, I sometimes wonder if I'd be any smarter if they were really "wisdom" teeth. So I do miss them and feel they should not be forgotten on this day.
A Clean Shower.
Back when I was living at home in good old Tuxedo, NY with my mother and father I had a clean shower...mainly because my mother would clean it for me. Yeah yeah, blah blah that's right. My mother cleaned my shower. But now that I'm out here and my mother is still back home I've been forced to do some cleaning myself. And by some cleaning I mean none. So my shower tends to get a little messy. I miss the days of my clean shower because it's sometimes hard to avoid stepping in mold which no one likes to do.
There are a few other things that I miss, like money and having it, but you know...that's how it goes. So anyway, I hope you all enjoyed your day off and did all the great stuff that Memorial Days are supposed to bring.
Well, today being Memorial Day I decided to do a Memorial Day post in memoriam of some things that I feel need to be remembered.
My hair.
It's hard to believe, I know, but at one point in my life I had thick, flowing, luxurious hair...LOTS AND LOTS OF HAIR! Where did it all go? Down the drain, mostly. Little by little it abandon my head for the call of the shower drain. Why? I don't know. But that's that. I miss it. And will always remember it fondly.
Socks.
More specificly the socks that get lost in the vast etherial void of the dryer. I discussed this in a post last year about the strange aliens I found in the dryer that steal socks. But I thought it was important to mention them and their sad mates that are left here on the earthly plain without their counterparts. I have many socks that are mateless and I see them sitting in my drawer all alone. I feel bad for them. I also feel bad for the others who are alone in the dryer world. I feel they, and all others like them, should be remembered this day.
Wisdom Teeth.
Not everyone has to have their wisdom teeth taken out (they are the ones who haven't quite evolved enough. They still have Cro-Magnon mouths.) I had all four of mine taken out many, many years ago. Three of them were impacted and sideways. They had to cut into my jaw, chop the teeth up into little pieces then pull the pieces out one by one. It wasn't fun...but the drugs they gave me were! Woohoo! Anyway, I sometimes wonder if I'd be any smarter if they were really "wisdom" teeth. So I do miss them and feel they should not be forgotten on this day.
A Clean Shower.
Back when I was living at home in good old Tuxedo, NY with my mother and father I had a clean shower...mainly because my mother would clean it for me. Yeah yeah, blah blah that's right. My mother cleaned my shower. But now that I'm out here and my mother is still back home I've been forced to do some cleaning myself. And by some cleaning I mean none. So my shower tends to get a little messy. I miss the days of my clean shower because it's sometimes hard to avoid stepping in mold which no one likes to do.
There are a few other things that I miss, like money and having it, but you know...that's how it goes. So anyway, I hope you all enjoyed your day off and did all the great stuff that Memorial Days are supposed to bring.
Day 11 - Friday, May 26, 2006
More exercise today. This unemployment thing where I actually work is getting a little out of hand. But today needed to be done. I was helping a friend move. Yep...she's moving to Portland, Oregon. Who, you ask? Well, Margaret Meyer, of course!
Margaret's been in a few of my posts last year so you all should know her. A few of us got together to get her stuff packed in a truck...which we did.
There was Joe, Efram, Rob
Sarah (unshaven)
and myself.
Everyone pitched in and worked pretty hard getting Margaret's stuff out of her apartment and into the truck that would take her far away from us.
I supervise very well. But when everyone started getting a little sweaty and cranky I willingly chose to help them move the heavy stuff. Unfortunately moving can be dangerous as I soon found out. I was inflicted with horrible, deep, pain-filled wound.
I should have been rushed to the hospital and gotten many stitches to hold my finger on, but I just wrapped a paper towel around it and fought through the pain to help Margaret. After nearly 36 straight hours of packing, moving and heavy lifting, we finally got the truck fully loaded. Then it was time to say goodbye to Margaret. So sad.
Good luck in Portland, Margaret! We will miss you!
Margaret's been in a few of my posts last year so you all should know her. A few of us got together to get her stuff packed in a truck...which we did. There was Joe, Efram, Rob
Sarah (unshaven)
and myself.
Everyone pitched in and worked pretty hard getting Margaret's stuff out of her apartment and into the truck that would take her far away from us.
I supervise very well. But when everyone started getting a little sweaty and cranky I willingly chose to help them move the heavy stuff. Unfortunately moving can be dangerous as I soon found out. I was inflicted with horrible, deep, pain-filled wound.
I should have been rushed to the hospital and gotten many stitches to hold my finger on, but I just wrapped a paper towel around it and fought through the pain to help Margaret. After nearly 36 straight hours of packing, moving and heavy lifting, we finally got the truck fully loaded. Then it was time to say goodbye to Margaret. So sad.
Good luck in Portland, Margaret! We will miss you!
Day 5, 6, 7 and 8! - Tuesday, May 23, 2006
You all thought I'd forgotten about blogging again, didn't you? It's been four days - where's Mike and his exceptionally funny blog posts? He must have forgotten! Well, the truth of the matter is that I didn't forget. I was out of town! But I took lots of pictures and will now update you on all of my adventures!
Friday (Day 5)
My girlfriend Karen, her brother Frank and I were supposed to set out on a trek up to San Francisco.
Didn't happen. Instead we went to see The Da Vinci Code which I enjoyed although I thought the book was better. I jokingly said to one of the protesters outside the theatre that The Da Vinci Code was completely wrong - Jesus wasn't married, he never existed. Well, that didn't go over too well. Karen had to fight off the mob that started beating me with their Jesus Is Love signs. Geez, people, lighten up!
Saturday (Day 6)
Now the adventure begins. We were up and on the road at 7:30am (an ungodly hour) and headed up north. We arrived on San Franciscan soil around 1 and headed straight to the Fishermans Wharf.
There we wanted to get something tasty to eat and head off to see the most famous jail that was ever built - ALCATRAZ!
I learned a lot of facts on the tour of alcatraz. 1). It used to be a military fort to protect the bay of San Francisco. 2). It's an incredibly safe place to be if there's an earthquake and 3). Don't take off your pants and run around making noises like an airplane.
The people in charge tend to not like that sort of thing. And they're more than happy to show the rest of the tour groups that some of the jail cells still work just fine. They are compassionate though and let me out after I had been crying and yelling for my mommy and wetting myself for a few hours.
We were able to finish the tour without incident and headed back to San Fran.
After our long trek we showered, dressed and headed out to the streets of San Francisco to find a place to eat.
Remember the movie A Christmas Story? In the final scene they go to a chinese restaurant and are served a whole duck, head an all. Then the waiter comes and chops off the head. Well, we found that restaurant in Chinatown.
Karen begged us to go so she could see the duck get its head chopped off. Frank and I had to drag her away. Instead we went to a nice little Italian restaurant. I ate salmon.
End Saturday.
Sunday (Day 7)
The reason we headed up to San Francisco was to run in a race called The Bay to Breakers. It's a 7.5 mile run from, you guessed it, the San Francisco Bay Area to the Ocean.
About 100,000 people join in every year and it sometimes gets a little crazy to say the least.
I'm not just talking crowded crazy. I'm talking CRAZY crazy. I saw some things in this race that I didn't think I'd ever see. Take a look for yourselves.
The one thing I was told I would see was a lot of nudity. "Nudity? People run this race naked?" I asked. "Yep. Every year." Well, this got me excited. I figured I'd just stroll along and watch the beautiful bouncing heavenly bodies of nubile athletes (female, of course) jog past me.
Unfortunately this is what I was accosted with.
And you're only looking at the picture! I had to see it live!!!
But I finished the race. No, I didn't run. I walked. Well, actually I ran to get away from the old wrinkly naked people but that was about it.
Then it was a quick jump into the car and head home.
Monday (Day 8)
I slept a lot. Then my friend Matt called. You all remember Matt, right?
He called for my computer expertise in hooking up his cable modem. I got there and things were in complete disarray. But I did what I had to do and got everything organized and eventually got everything up and running for Matt. It only took a 2 hour phone call to Apple Tech Support which Matt made while I sat around and read a magazine.
And that's was my weekend!
Friday (Day 5)
My girlfriend Karen, her brother Frank and I were supposed to set out on a trek up to San Francisco.
Didn't happen. Instead we went to see The Da Vinci Code which I enjoyed although I thought the book was better. I jokingly said to one of the protesters outside the theatre that The Da Vinci Code was completely wrong - Jesus wasn't married, he never existed. Well, that didn't go over too well. Karen had to fight off the mob that started beating me with their Jesus Is Love signs. Geez, people, lighten up!Saturday (Day 6)
Now the adventure begins. We were up and on the road at 7:30am (an ungodly hour) and headed up north. We arrived on San Franciscan soil around 1 and headed straight to the Fishermans Wharf.
There we wanted to get something tasty to eat and head off to see the most famous jail that was ever built - ALCATRAZ!
I learned a lot of facts on the tour of alcatraz. 1). It used to be a military fort to protect the bay of San Francisco. 2). It's an incredibly safe place to be if there's an earthquake and 3). Don't take off your pants and run around making noises like an airplane.
The people in charge tend to not like that sort of thing. And they're more than happy to show the rest of the tour groups that some of the jail cells still work just fine. They are compassionate though and let me out after I had been crying and yelling for my mommy and wetting myself for a few hours.We were able to finish the tour without incident and headed back to San Fran.
After our long trek we showered, dressed and headed out to the streets of San Francisco to find a place to eat.
Remember the movie A Christmas Story? In the final scene they go to a chinese restaurant and are served a whole duck, head an all. Then the waiter comes and chops off the head. Well, we found that restaurant in Chinatown.
Karen begged us to go so she could see the duck get its head chopped off. Frank and I had to drag her away. Instead we went to a nice little Italian restaurant. I ate salmon.End Saturday.
Sunday (Day 7)
The reason we headed up to San Francisco was to run in a race called The Bay to Breakers. It's a 7.5 mile run from, you guessed it, the San Francisco Bay Area to the Ocean.
About 100,000 people join in every year and it sometimes gets a little crazy to say the least.
I'm not just talking crowded crazy. I'm talking CRAZY crazy. I saw some things in this race that I didn't think I'd ever see. Take a look for yourselves.
The one thing I was told I would see was a lot of nudity. "Nudity? People run this race naked?" I asked. "Yep. Every year." Well, this got me excited. I figured I'd just stroll along and watch the beautiful bouncing heavenly bodies of nubile athletes (female, of course) jog past me.
Unfortunately this is what I was accosted with.
And you're only looking at the picture! I had to see it live!!!
But I finished the race. No, I didn't run. I walked. Well, actually I ran to get away from the old wrinkly naked people but that was about it.
Then it was a quick jump into the car and head home.Monday (Day 8)
I slept a lot. Then my friend Matt called. You all remember Matt, right?
He called for my computer expertise in hooking up his cable modem. I got there and things were in complete disarray. But I did what I had to do and got everything organized and eventually got everything up and running for Matt. It only took a 2 hour phone call to Apple Tech Support which Matt made while I sat around and read a magazine. And that's was my weekend!
Day 4 - Friday, May 19, 2006
THURSDAY May 18th, 2006
Started playing video game - 11:05 a.m.
12:34 pm got stuck. Couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do.
1:52pm - Same spot. Still stuck.
3:31pm - No clues. Still stuck.
5:15pm - Thought different perspective would help...didn't. Still stuck.
6:29pm. Decided to give myself a break. Opened blinds in room and was nearly flashburned by sunlight streaming in.
6:30pm. Brain and eyes needed a rest. Sat on couch for the rest of the night watching movies.
Started playing video game - 11:05 a.m.
12:34 pm got stuck. Couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do.
1:52pm - Same spot. Still stuck.
3:31pm - No clues. Still stuck.
5:15pm - Thought different perspective would help...didn't. Still stuck.
6:29pm. Decided to give myself a break. Opened blinds in room and was nearly flashburned by sunlight streaming in.
6:30pm. Brain and eyes needed a rest. Sat on couch for the rest of the night watching movies.
Day 3 - Wednesday, May 17, 2006
(A little bit of warning...I've been having trouble uploading pictures here for a bit. Not sure why but I'll get to the bottom of it.)
So it's already day three of my unemployment and I feel like my time is slipping away too quickly. I should be doing nothing and yet I have been doing stuff. It's not good for the unemployed to be doing stuff. I should be doing nothing! NOTHING!
Today had some happy moments mixed with sad. I went to lunch with Ms. Margaret Meyer.
Some of you may remember her from last years unemployed posts. Margaret will be leaving California soon. So I wanted to take her to lunch at a little place we dined together often - The Yukon Mining Company.
Why it's called the Yukon when we're in California, they don't explain. But it's quaint, the service is good and friendly and they serve breakfast all day long...that's awesome.
Today I thought I'd try something new...Cat.
It was just like picking out a lobster. The waiter took me into the back to pick out the cat I wanted to eat. Then they hit it over the head with a hammer, throw it into some scalding water to get the fur off and throw it in a frying pan. It was a little strange and disturbing at first but once I tasted the delicious meal they put down in front of me I forgot all about my problems with it. I highly recommend it.
Then I was off to Westwood to meet my girlfriend Karen.
We wandered around Westwood, ate some cookies and icecream, she made me dinner...gnocchi...mmmm...and then I was off again back Hollyood to visit Sarah Meyer
and watch the Season Finale of The Amazing Race. Joining us in our watching was Margaret and Joe.
And then, after that long day of visiting friends and eating my fill of new dishes it was time to come home and flop into bed.
This unemployment stuff is getting to be too much work for a lazy bastard like me.
So it's already day three of my unemployment and I feel like my time is slipping away too quickly. I should be doing nothing and yet I have been doing stuff. It's not good for the unemployed to be doing stuff. I should be doing nothing! NOTHING!
Today had some happy moments mixed with sad. I went to lunch with Ms. Margaret Meyer.
Some of you may remember her from last years unemployed posts. Margaret will be leaving California soon. So I wanted to take her to lunch at a little place we dined together often - The Yukon Mining Company.
Why it's called the Yukon when we're in California, they don't explain. But it's quaint, the service is good and friendly and they serve breakfast all day long...that's awesome.
Today I thought I'd try something new...Cat.
It was just like picking out a lobster. The waiter took me into the back to pick out the cat I wanted to eat. Then they hit it over the head with a hammer, throw it into some scalding water to get the fur off and throw it in a frying pan. It was a little strange and disturbing at first but once I tasted the delicious meal they put down in front of me I forgot all about my problems with it. I highly recommend it.
Then I was off to Westwood to meet my girlfriend Karen.
We wandered around Westwood, ate some cookies and icecream, she made me dinner...gnocchi...mmmm...and then I was off again back Hollyood to visit Sarah Meyer
and watch the Season Finale of The Amazing Race. Joining us in our watching was Margaret and Joe.
And then, after that long day of visiting friends and eating my fill of new dishes it was time to come home and flop into bed.
This unemployment stuff is getting to be too much work for a lazy bastard like me.
Day 2 - Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Today was unlike any other of my days of unemployment. I actually did stuff! Crazy, I know! And being Tuesday, I had to honor the tradition a few of us began in the offices of Robot Chicken. I wore my Tom is NOT my friend shirt.
I wonder if the others wore their shirts today as well?
Then I headed off to the library to get some writing done. I stopped off at Ralphs to grab some gatorade a few little snacks to munch on. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot a woman came up to my car screaming and banging on my window. She was covered in blood and beaten up pretty bad. I quickly turned and drove away. I don't need that kind of stuff in my life right now.
Just kidding!!! A woman did come up to my car but she wasn't screaming or bloody or beaten up. She needed a jumpstart cause her car wouldn't start.
I got out my jumper cables and tried to give her car a jumpstart.
Unfortunately her alternator was shot so the jump did nothing for her. But I hung out with her for a bit because I'm good for moral. She called the auto club and they were gonna come and get her going.
This guy was no help at all...
Although we did enjoy watching him hack and cough and spit and take his shirt off and lay in the parking lot to get a tan.
So anyway, after that I went to the library.
I wrote a few pages of my next genius idea then my girlfriend called and wanted to go hiking. So we went to Will Rogers State Park to do some hiking with her sister. Unfortunately I didn't take my camera with me or I'd show you some pretty cool nature shots. Maybe next time.
Anyway, that's all for today, folks.
P.S. As I was previewing this I saw that most of my pictures didn't come out. Sons o' bitches!
I wonder if the others wore their shirts today as well?
Then I headed off to the library to get some writing done. I stopped off at Ralphs to grab some gatorade a few little snacks to munch on. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot a woman came up to my car screaming and banging on my window. She was covered in blood and beaten up pretty bad. I quickly turned and drove away. I don't need that kind of stuff in my life right now.
Just kidding!!! A woman did come up to my car but she wasn't screaming or bloody or beaten up. She needed a jumpstart cause her car wouldn't start.
I got out my jumper cables and tried to give her car a jumpstart.
Unfortunately her alternator was shot so the jump did nothing for her. But I hung out with her for a bit because I'm good for moral. She called the auto club and they were gonna come and get her going.
This guy was no help at all...
Although we did enjoy watching him hack and cough and spit and take his shirt off and lay in the parking lot to get a tan. So anyway, after that I went to the library.
I wrote a few pages of my next genius idea then my girlfriend called and wanted to go hiking. So we went to Will Rogers State Park to do some hiking with her sister. Unfortunately I didn't take my camera with me or I'd show you some pretty cool nature shots. Maybe next time.
Anyway, that's all for today, folks.
P.S. As I was previewing this I saw that most of my pictures didn't come out. Sons o' bitches!
Day 1 - Monday, May 15, 2006
So, here we are again. I'm unemployed once more! Woohoo!!
This is me sleeping peacefully at 9:35 knowing that I don't have to get up at all today if I don't want to.
Don't I look cute?
So I rolled out of bed around 10ish so I could get to the unemployment office and avoid the lines. Luckily I got there just in the nick of time. No line, no wait. It was awesome.
Of course I still have to wait a while before they start sending me the checks, but I can do that. I've already shown them the lengths to which I'm willing to get a job...so I think they'll be more then willing to give me some money.
But, waiting to sign up for unemployment was a task and, to be honest, it wore me out. So I had to take a little nap to recover.
I recovered enough to get myself out of bed around 1:15 or so and showered and ate breakfast and all that sort of stuff. Unfortunately on my first day of not working...I kinda have to work. I have a meeting. So my major decision for the day is what to wear?
Do I go with my usual jeans and t-shirt?
Or do I get all dressed up to impress? 
Well, for those of you who read my blog or know me in person I'm gonna let you guess which one I chose.
So, I guess I should be off to get to my meeting. Tomorrow I plan to get a lot done...a lot of sleeping and TV watching and Video Game playing. And then at night I'm gonna go see Poseidon. Woohoo! Cheezy Disaster Movie!
Later kids!
This is me sleeping peacefully at 9:35 knowing that I don't have to get up at all today if I don't want to.
Don't I look cute? So I rolled out of bed around 10ish so I could get to the unemployment office and avoid the lines. Luckily I got there just in the nick of time. No line, no wait. It was awesome.
Of course I still have to wait a while before they start sending me the checks, but I can do that. I've already shown them the lengths to which I'm willing to get a job...so I think they'll be more then willing to give me some money. But, waiting to sign up for unemployment was a task and, to be honest, it wore me out. So I had to take a little nap to recover.
I recovered enough to get myself out of bed around 1:15 or so and showered and ate breakfast and all that sort of stuff. Unfortunately on my first day of not working...I kinda have to work. I have a meeting. So my major decision for the day is what to wear?Do I go with my usual jeans and t-shirt?
Or do I get all dressed up to impress? 
Well, for those of you who read my blog or know me in person I'm gonna let you guess which one I chose.
So, I guess I should be off to get to my meeting. Tomorrow I plan to get a lot done...a lot of sleeping and TV watching and Video Game playing. And then at night I'm gonna go see Poseidon. Woohoo! Cheezy Disaster Movie!
Later kids!
The Return - Sunday, May 14, 2006
Coming Tomorrow!
The Return of Fasolo, Mike: Unemployed!!
Watch for it!!
The Return of Fasolo, Mike: Unemployed!!
Watch for it!!
